Will therapy help you? Consider these tips to get the most out of therapy.
According to a survey done last year by the U.S. federal agency Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) nearly one third of Americans are stressed, anxious, depressed, and/or addicted to a substance. Thirty-three percent of nearly 350 million people is a big chunk of the population but it also feels like the percentage is not high enough. With the rapid rise of inflation that has consumed Americans since the pandemic and the isolation and polarization that is disconnecting people from each other, I would think there are more people stressed, depressed, and anxious about the future than what was found in the survey.
Survey or no survey, the bottom line is clear - Americans, right here, right now in March of 2024 are struggling with many challenges. These daily challenges impact our mental and physical health, relationships with significant people in our lives, and how we navigate and cope with all the challenges, stressors, and disappointments. Therapy, the talk kind, with a licensed mental health professional can be helpful, even transformative, for many people. The therapeutic process can help people feel supported, understood, and ‘seen’ while they process past experiences and build coping mechanisms.
Even though there is a ton of research that shows mindfulness-based talk therapy is more effective, for instance, at reducing symptoms of depression than doing nothing [2] or than taking an antidepressant medication [3], many people do not know the value and benefits of therapy. Some might think therapy is only for people who are ‘crazy’ or have a ‘mental illness.’ Many primary care doctors will prescribe a psychiatric medication without even mentioning the best practice of trying therapy first before taking a medication.
Therapy, or most importantly the therapeutic process, can help everyone!
Therapy can help people on a broad spectrum. On one end there are folks wanting to learn more about themselves, and on the opposite end therapy can help those struggling with intense and sometimes tortuous mental health symptoms. There is a big swath of gray area between these two types of people looking for wellness, and it is in that in-between space where most people fall.
To answer the question ‘Will therapy help me?’ read through the points below - considering these points and reflecting on your answers to them could significantly improve your experience with therapy.
Ask yourself, ‘why now?’
Before most people start or re-visit therapy they will do a search of some kind. It may look like searching the internet for phrases like “will therapy help me” or “trauma therapy near me” or “therapy for anxiety.” There may be many reasons why a person is researching therapy, but the key question to ask is ‘why now?’ Is there something going on right now that is impacting you in a negative way? Reflecting on what is happening within your external world (relationships, work, lifestyle) and internal world (thoughts, emotions, physical symptoms) can build awareness of what could be the fuel igniting your search. Sharing this information with your future therapist can help to jumpstart the process.
Can you commit to therapy right now?
More reflection on the ‘now,’ but this time you will need to think about ‘now’ in a different way: is there space in your schedule, finances, and emotional capacity for a commitment to the therapeutic process? For therapy to help consider these truths:
Therapy takes time, at least 6 months to get something valuable from it. The longer you are in the process, the more value you will get out of it if you are paired with the right therapist.
Therapy can cost anywhere from $20 to $200 per session. The range has to do with health insurance versus private pay, but consider that not all therapists are trained in the same ways nor do all therapists have the experience and clinical ‘chops’ for your particular set of symptoms or context. Consider figuring out a budget first and then conduct your search, including interviews, targeting a rate that will work for you and you will save money and time by pairing with the right therapist for you.
The therapeutic process can feel great, even uplifting and inspiring, but you can also experience uncomfortable, even painful emotions. Do you have the capacity and strength to go through this process right now? And please, do not judge yourself if your answer is ‘no, not now.’ Therapy is like all other healthcare treatments - you will get the most benefit out of it if you make the space within you and in your calendar for treatment.
What do you hope to get out of therapy?
To feel like therapy has helped, you will need to pair with the ‘right’ therapist for you. The ‘right’ therapist may not be the one with the most certifications or the one that is cheapest or most convenient. Being clear on what you want to get out of therapy can help you determine who is the right fit for you. For instance, if you want therapy to help you with chronic worrying and stress, bring these goals into your research as well as into initial discussions with prospective therapists (or at minimum talk about this during your first session). If you want to dive deeper within yourself and your experiences, be introspective and build awareness of your patterns. Learning how to be with what you are feeling might shift your search toward therapists who utilize therapy models and tools that are somatic, mindful, trauma-informed, neuroscience, or attachment-based like our mindful crew at Flourish! Feeling connected with your therapist, trusting the process, and being heard, seen and understood can be life changing.
Are you open to doing therapy ‘work’ outside of therapy sessions?
Whether you do therapy in person or through telehealth (video), therapy will be most beneficial if you do ‘homework’ outside of the therapy session. Homework could be as easy as breathing exercises, journaling, or quiet reflection time. Or it could be a little more involved like building awareness of what comes up for you when interacting with certain people in your life or slowly implementing lifestyle changes that could drastically improve your mood and energy. When you put in the ‘work’ outside of therapy sessions, you will receive better value for the time you invest in meeting with your therapist. A side effect may be that you achieve your goals more quickly.
Are you ready to see yourself and significant others in a way that could shift your relationships?
Building awareness of the dynamics within significant relationships in your life is part of the therapeutic process. Seeing yourself interacting with others, like a fly on the wall, brings objectivity into the therapeutic process and you may discover things about yourself and others that can shift your perspective. This shift in perspective takes time and can change these important relationships so consider if you are ready to look at relationships in your life without judgment but with objectivity and accountability.
Would you like therapy to help you figure out how to change someone important in your life?
Many people go to therapy to vent - they want an objective third party to listen to all the things that are wrong with others. A therapist can listen empathetically and some may support or validate what you are sharing. However, therapy is not going to change other people in your life but it can change the way you interact and respond with other people. For instance, if your significant other is not taking out the trash or not being supportive when you experience a setback or a success, being in therapy can help you be with these disappointments while also collaborating on ways you can communicate differently and help you accept others for who they are and who they aren’t.
Are you aware if you have had any trauma(s) even if it was a long time ago? And if so, are you ready to revisit them?
According to the leading trauma expert, Bessel van Der Kolk, MD, not all events are traumatic or code themselves as trauma within you; but when an event overwhelms you AND there was no one there for you when you were overwhelmed results in a ‘trauma’. [4]. Many people do not know they are holding trauma, or multiple traumas, within their bodies but these held experiences are often misdiagnosed as a mental illness. These experiences can also cause dysfunction at work or in relationships. Working with a trauma-informed mental health professional can help you slowly resolve these held experiences while holding you with compassion, empathy, and nonjudgment. Resolving trauma is hard, often painful, but most people feel lighter, more at ease, and even liberated when working on trauma in therapy. Consider if you are ready to go backward and experience some raw, painful emotions as a way to feel better and be more present in the here-and-now.
. References
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2023). Key substance use and mental health indicators in the United States: Results from the 2022 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (HHS Publication No. PEP23-07-01-006, NSDUH Series H-58). Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and Quality, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. https://www.samhsa.gov/data/report/2022-nsduh-annual-national-report
Goldberg, S., Tucker, R., Greene, P., Davidson, R., Wampold, B., Kearney, D., Simpson, T. (2018). Mindfulness-based interventions for psychiatric disorders: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, (59), p52-60. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2017.10.011.
Kirsch, I., Moore, T., Scoria, A., Nicholls, S. (2002) “The Emperor’s New Drugs: An Analysis of Antidepressant Medication Data Submitted to US Food and Drug Administration”: Prevention & Treatment, 5 (23), August 2002.
What is Trauma? The author of “The Body Keeps The Score” explains, Big Think (2022). https://youtu.be/BJfmfkDQb14 @bigthink